 How Do You Discipline Your
Children?
There are many views about discipline in the world today. In the days of Christ, disobeying children were made slaves or worse yet, killed. It is lucky for children that these extremes are no longer practiced today. But there is no easy way of disciplining children. Some guardians are too lenient, allowing their children to behave in whatever way they chose to express themselves. While on the other hand, others are too severe, beating their children into submission. So what is the best method of discipline? The method of discipline you chose will depend on your child. Each child behaves differently and responds individually to punishment. There are however, some guidelines to follow no matter what form of discipline you chose to use. Make your request specific. If you child knows exactly what you want done, there is less likely to be any confusion. Asking your child to “pick up the basement” is a huge request to a youngster. A better request would be “pick up all the books and put them on the bookshelf.” To further enhance that this task will be performed in a timely manner you may wish to set a time limit. A timer works great and helps children not to procrastinate at the job. Get a large digital kitchen timer and set it within eyesight of the child. He can continually watch the timer and know when his time is almost up. Break up the task into little segments. It is a difficult task for a child to “clean your bedroom”. On glance and the task seems impossible. By breaking the job into little jobs, each one seems more manageable. You may even wish to create a chart showing the order in which to clean the room. For those children too young to read, use pictures instead of words. Do not give the child all the task at one time. Offer him one or two jobs and then have him come to you to find out what to do next. If you kept the tasks in approximately the same order each time, the job will become routine and your child will need your help less as he gets older. Always provide the punishment up front. If your toddler refuses to do as you have asked, always warn him and provide the punishment that is to follow. “John, I asked you to come here. If you do not, I will put away your toy and you can not have it until tomorrow.” This provides both what you want him to do and also what the consequences will be should he chose not to obey. Children need to learn that certain actions have certain consequences. Follow through. The most common mistake is that parents do not follow through with the punishment they gave warning to. They provide two or three more times for the child to listen or try to “reason” with the child. If the child knows that you do not intend to punish him and that your threats will not be followed by results, he will continue to misbehave. Children need to know that you are the boss. |
